This where I shared what I learned each month. Some of it will be random facts I learned, some of it will be self reflection, and some will be just random other things I learned (opinions).
1. I learned that when people first meet me they will almost always associate me with Megan Fox no matter what country they are from.
2. I learned some people will walk out of your life for good without reason after being close friends for a very long time. It will hurt but you got to move on with your life and meet new people. The hardest part is when they don’t explain what happened. But sometimes life has no explanations.
3. I learned the Cinderella was Walt Disney’s favorite princess.
4. I also learned that I have finally found “my team” the people who are helping me heal. These are not personal relationships but professional ones. I have found wonderful counselor and doctors to help me. These three people mean more to me than they will ever know. They also care for me outside of their work hours and that pleasantly surprised me.
5. I learned that people in Brazil speak portuguese not spanish. ( at least that what was I told from from fellow disney travelers) 🙂
6. I learned that people think I am over 30. (well most people) They also NEVER ID me when I order an adult beverage. ( and I don’t like this)
7. I learned that it was Happy Left handers day and only 10 percent of the world is left handed. I am a lefty. To bad the world does not celebrate this maybe I would of got a gift or a discount at places. haha.
6. I cannot do accents in other languages no matter how hard I try.
7. Scarlett Johansson and I have more in common than I originally thought. We are both left handed. We are both introverted and we are both really reserved. She loves disney. She dresses opposite of Paris. Her nickname Scarjo. We both dislike our nicknames. We are both very short.
8. The movie frozen setting was originally based in Denmark. But they made the movie based on Norway. Also the real story of frozen is not dark. Unlike the other original fairy tales.
9. I learned that people in Europe tend to view Americans as very religious. I feel like as a country we have fallen away from God. So I thought it was interesting Europeans think otherwise.
Read: I am ashamed to admit that I barely read this month. Hopefully next month will be better. Thankfully the one book I did read was pretty good.
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Adichie – This book was amazing. I have always had baggage with the word Feminism. I grew up in a really legalistic church setting. Women did not have that much of a voice. We weren’t a lot of to be Bible teachers or Pastors. Feminism to me was always ladies who were yelling at guys who held doors open for them. They never shave their arm pits or legs. This book showed me that women are being secretly oppressed in America and openly oppressed in other countries. Women have come to see this oppression as normal. Although this wasn’t necessarily a Christian read I would highly recommend it. It shows us that women and men are equal. It shows that we need to speak up. It points out how women are not being treated fairly in ways I have not even recognized before.
My friend and I barely got to work out this much. I also gained weight this month which is a bummer. I am ready to start losing weight. It is so difficult to get on track.
similarminds.com – I love personality tests and I think this website is more accurate than others.
Shrek the Musical (3/5)- This had some cheesy childish humor in it but I got a good laugh.
pitch perfect (2/5) – It had some cute scenes. But overall it bored me. I don’t get what the fuss is about.
Bachelor in Paradise (3/5)- I am ashamed that I liked this show.
Most touching- FOR ALL THE QUENTIN JACOBSENS AND MARGO ROTH SPIEGLEMANS OF THE WORLD
Most relatable for this season of my life – A letter to the one who is failing
Most Likely To Make You See Things Differently- God is NOT sad
Most likely to make you laugh:
Most likely to change the world: Lost Voices
My favorite if you find this email of the month: Decline with regret
This has been a challenging month for my faith.
1. I am still trying to find a church home where I fit in.
2. I am still trying to find a missions trip to go on.
3. I am still trying ways to figure out how to really connect with God. I am struggling to feel His presence and hear from Him.
- What is a good lipstick for women with thin lips?
- What are some great mission trips around the world to go where I could work with children?
- What is your favorite exotic pet?
- What is the best place you have ever traveled?
- What are some good hair products that will help with volume?
- What are some great photo editing websites? (that are free)
Interesting things that happened in August:
- I did two things on my bucket list.
- I turned 24 on August the 16th.
Beautify Me: I bought some beauty products this month. However, I don’t really like them.
Other things I am into:
- Instagram- Hot Dudes Reading = It seems like I am behind the times because everyone is apparently loving this account. I guess I have an excuse because I just got an Instagram again. I must says if you read that definitely makes you way more attractive. Sadly not all girls feel this. Oh well… more hot guys reading that I can have all to myself. 😉
“Jesus was more brokenhearted, scarred and betrayed than anyone in history. Yet, He did not shut Himself off from us; Instead, He calls us unto Him. If you cannot trust anyone, right now, please trust Him. His scars are proof that you are loved more than you know. He will guide you through this pain, He will sit with you when you are weak, and He will carry you until you can walk again. Christ wants to see you run again, He wants to see you live in His glory. You just have to take His hand and walk; it will take all of you, but you will get all of Him.
He is worth it.” — T.B. LaBerge
Sometimes I have a difficult time knowing whether God cares about me. I mean deep down I know He cares. However, there is a lot bad things that happen in my life. It is easy to blame God for those. I prayed and asked God to show me a passage or verse I needed to read today. I opened the bible randomly a few times. I saw the title Jesus comforts Martha and Mary. To be honest I did not want to read another passage on Martha and Mary. There has been so much debates on Martha and Mary. Pastors make it seem like Mary was the perfect Christian and and Martha was not ( I will talk about this in another post). Both Martha and Mary told Jesus that He should of been there so Lazarus would not die. Martha and Mary’s faith did not waver. However, they were a upset that Jesus did not protect Lazarus from death. I have read the passage a few times. However, two verses stuck out to me that I don’t think ever has before. John 11:33-34 says “When Jesus saw Mary weep and noticed the tears of the Jews who came with her, he was deeply moved and visibly distressed. “Where have you put him?” he asked.” Jesus really cared about Lazarus. It troubled Him. He was very distressed. This proves that even when bad things happen to us our God is with us. I have heard so many tragedies lately. It has been questioning my belief that God is loving and that He cares. However, this verse shows that even though God allows certain things to happen it doesn’t mean He doesn’t love us. He gets angry when people hurt us. He cries knowing when we grieve. Even though God believes in the resurrection for believers after death it doesn’t that He is not bothered by death on earth. He loves us. I hope this verse makes you remember that today.
I never have been good with words even though I am known to slip the words ” I am sorry” 7-10 times a day. However with real apologies I have never been good. I used to not like you. I used to think you were just another sex idol. I saw myself as a missionary girl who was “on fire” for Jesus. However, in my eyes you were just some celebrity who cared about herself. Whenever I first heard your name I thought you were Scarlett O’Hara the girl from “Gone with the Wind”. When I saw you I changed my mind quick. I was hoping guys would be crushing over an old fashioned classy chic not some blonde hair blued eyed babe. However, I realized I was seeing you how I wanted to perceive you. I realize now a few things. First you are the most the most elegant and classy girl I have ever seen. You are also so very human. So am I. You loved your mom but was sad that she was crying when you lost your virginity at 17. You swore you fell in love for the first time at 14. You swoon over boys the way all of us girls do. However you are so very reserved. It is actually shocking you play roles that involve so much sexuality. Although you are extremely appealing I know you don’t like being the center of attention. You prefer close friends. You don’t want your dating life out there for the world to know. You have this way of drawing guys to you but special guys. Guys who are really attracted to you are attracted to your soul first I can tell. This interview I saw the other day broke my heart. Guys were saying that your boobs were to saggy. They said you look too old. It broke my heart because it is the same things I hear every day. You and I we are so different. I am a Republican and you are a Liberal. (By the was I am very sorry obama did not want your help in campaigning). Yet we are both introverted, we both are reserved and a mystery to a world, we both will still dress vintage despite the critics, and we both will keep pouring our heart and love into the people closes to us. We want our privacy but we share we those we love. We hate our nicknames. Mine is Meg and yours is ScarJo. I just wanted you to know you are beloved. You are treasured and valued. I would do anything for you to be seen. I hope you keep your head up. Most likely we will never cross path. Oh but I would love if we do. I would appreciate taking you out on my favorite thing I like to call coffee dates with strangers. I would get to know you for who you truly are. I would tell you that you are complete. It is okay to want people in your life but please do not beg them to stay. You are beloved. You matter. You have a purpose. You are here to breathe a little life into this broken world. I am here to cheer you on. I will be your support.
“I dream too much, and I don’t write enough, and I’m trying to find God everywhere.”
If you know anything about me you know I love to read. I have always been a lover of words. The last part of the quote really defined me. I have been trying to find God everywhere. I tried to find him at high school, through people, through serving at various organizations, among the poor, among evangelical Christians who have so much faith it makes me jealous, in people who don’t believe in God, in nature, by going to a Christian College, mentors and on long drives. Sometimes searching for God gets weary. All the searching makes me tired. The verse in Jeremiah 29:13 which says ” If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me” always frustrated me. I told God I have been searching inwards through prayer, community, reading scripture, serving, and worship. I have searched inwards and outwards. It just of tens seems like I can’t find Him. But recently I have noticed He shows up when He is ready. It is not that He doesn’t want to show up for you. You may not be ready for what He has to say. Or you may be making the wrong choices. But He will always remind us of His love for us. Sometimes it is revival. However, for me it never has been. I never had one moment with God that was a huge transformation. He is working on me slowly. He pushes me. He makes me realize I need to change inwardly. He is there to guide me. He loves me. He rebukes me. He gently breaks down my walls.
I always have a difficult time praying. I always here God speaking to me through His Word or other people. I can read scripture all day. I can sing and dance to worship music. I usually never hear from God during prayer. Or at least I don’t think I do. I don’t like to blame this on God. It could just be I am not listening. However, I want to share my raw feelings with you all. I want to open to up about my prayer life. I get so frustrated that I don’t hear from God or feel His presence during prayer that I hardly ever pray. I am not saying God never answers my prayers. But often times I don’t feel like we are spending time together. I often don’t feel like the Holy Spirit is present. Of course I know that is not true. But I don’t feel God’s presence when I pray or hear from God like most people do. When I pray to God it often feels like I am talking to a brick wall. I crave the intimacy of prayer. I will continue to make efforts to breathe a prayer every now and then. I don’t want praying to feel like a job I don’t like. I want prayer to be like having a two way conversation with God. I still am a LITTLE hopeful about prayer. But I want to love praying to God more.