I used to think __________ and now I think ____________.

I am going to write about my biblical baggage and how I am overcoming that.When  I was “On fire” for Jesus I tended to read the Bible in a legalistic way. I never considered the context of the situation. The Bible was written for us who live in the 21st Century but not to us. I am learning to read the Bible in a whole new way but sometimes reading those passages or verses that I took so literally that caused me damage really still hurts. It is hard to look at them differently. However,  I am slowly falling back in love with the Word of God.

I used to be a an avid reader of Proverbs 31. I loved the Proverbs 31 ministry. But recently I discovered from Orthodox Jews it was not a standard for women. Jewish men used it praise their wives. They called them women of valor.  1 Timothy 2:12 says “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” 1 Corinthians 14:34  says “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them”. I learned that this verses were most likely contextual.  I also used to think that we all had to be like Mary and not Martha. Jesus Gently rebuked Martha. However, He didn’t like her any less. She is not condemned to hell. He even said what she was doing was good. Mary was doing what was better. But serving is actually a good thing especially back then.

I so desperately want to fall in love with God and how He is in the Old Testament. It always seems to violent for me. And a lot of the times all I see is violence. So I will talk with people who have already fallen in love with the Old Testament. The ones who know that the God of the Old Testament and the New Testament are the same.

I also used to not like that we had different denominations. My black and white faith was the cause of it. I so dearly wanted to cling to certain views of each Scripture. I thought there had to be certain way of doing everything. Now I see the beauty in Advent and Lent. I see the beauty of direct evangelical teaching. I see the beauty of immersion of adults and water sprinkling of babies in some churches. I cry in when we have baby dedications and see that the parents are longing to see their children grow up to be lovers of God.

Now don’t get me wrong there are certainly things in the Bible that are black and white. There are sins we aren’t allowed to commit although there is grace for that too. I certainly don’t justify unrepentant sin. But I do believe we are all a work in progress. I don’t believe people are going to be “fixed” immediately. One thing for sure is I know we don’t have God figured out. We never will. The Bible even says God is exalted beyond our knowledge (Job 36:26 ). That used to frustrate me when  I wanted the black and white answers for everything. But now that I realize that God is to big to fully grasp.  I think that is a beautiful mystery. I know when I read certain verses my thoughts about them and what they mean will change again. Instead of fearing that I will welcome it. There is one thing I know is true. Jesus walked this earth. He loved the unloveable. He carried are sins on the cross and He felt tremendous pain for us. I am very thankful for that.

P.S. I don’t dislike my old view that was Black and White view of the Bible because that is what drew me to the Bible.  I wanted answers for living. I wanted answers for why I was created. I am certainly most thankful for my new way of looking at Scripture. Realizing not everything is black and white is good for me.  This new view is what drew me back to Christ and to be honest it  saved my faith.

6 thoughts on “I used to think __________ and now I think ____________.

  1. I can completely relate to having a black and white faith — it is certainly hard to dig deeper and really decide what you do and don’t believe and what “rules” or “ways to live honoring God” are Jesus-made or man-made. Still journeying through this myself — it’s a hard road, but I think there’s a lot of freedom in it too!!


  2. I get the black and white faith thing! I sometimes have the remind myself that although I encourage people not to live in a way that is B+W, I am still thankful for that time because it’s what opened the doors to me knowing Jesus in any way!


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