I noticed something recently. I am never satisfied in life. When God answers a prayer I am not grateful. I just focus on the ones that He hasn’t answered the way I want Him to. Now I am trying to be more intentional about thanking God for what he blessed me with. By being intentional I notice things God has given me that I never have said thanks for. It has made me so much more appreciative. There someways you can do this. I say little prayers as I think of my blessings throughout the day. You can write in your journal a bullet list if you want. Just do what works best for you. If you can’t think of anything you can always turn to the Bible and it tells a lot of things God has done for us.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. – 1 Chronicles 16:34
Moana (1/5) – I did not care for this disney movie at all.
Before I Fall (3/5) – This movie just kept repeating itself so it was kind of boring.
Split (1/5) – this was a really weird movie about a guy will multiply personalities kidnapping three young girls.
Get Out (1/5)– This movie was supposed to show how racism still exists. This movie was bizarre.
Gifted (5/5) – An uncle raises his niece after his sister takes her own life. The daughter is gifted. He is trying to figure out how to help this child live a happy normal life.
Posts I adored:
What I’m Loving:
CATWALK SHAMPOO- I love this shampoo. Most shampoos are the same. This actually makes my hair have more volume and less frizzy.
Love Lives Here by Maria Goff (4/5) – This is a book about her life and how chooses to learn from her experiences. This a wonderful book.
Singled Out: Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today’s Church by Christine A. Colón and Bonnie E. Field (4/5)- This book explores what singles are facing in the church. It helps us see that they are marginalized. It also shows how we can make them feel more included. I have always struggled as a single in churches because they usually focus on married people. It also encourages singles to plug into a church no matter how difficult it is. This book also show us that we focus to much on the nuclear family and not enough on the family of the Body of Christ.
How to Survive a Shipwreck by Jonathan Martin (2/5)- I love Jonathan Martin but I was not impressed with this book. I was going through a really bad time and thought this would be helpful. It was confusing and vague.
The Choice (5/5) – This was a wonderful thought provoking hopeless romantic movie.
On the Other Side of the Door (4/5) – A mother’s son dies a tragic death. She brings his spirit back and he becomes evil. I loved this horror movie.
Beauty and the Beast (5/5) – excellent live recreation of this story.
What I Am LOVING:
“To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one’s been crueller than I’ve been to me.”
I grew up in environments that caused me to hate myself. Most of my life I felt stupid, weird, hated, ugly, and worthless. To be honest I still feel these things. However, I am growing to love myself. It will take awhile to be fully there. But I am learning baby steps are okay. I wanted to share some of the things that mentors have shared with me.
- A mentor told me that I can’t tolerate people because I can’t tolerate my self. This was a punch in the gut ( metaphorically). I was upset , angry, and offended when I heard this but it was true. I was constantly harsh on other people. If you get annoyed and dislike other people it could be a sign that you aren’t loving and accepting yourself.
- My counselor and I talk about being Selfish versus having Self Interest. Selfish is lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. Self Interest refers to a focus on the needs or desires (interests) of the self. ( however if you google it you will get the same definition as you did for self fish. This is the one time I trust what wikipedia says over a dictionary. ) I always have to try to follow what other people like to fit in. If someone told me that I was dumb because I didn’t like going to baseball games then I would start attending baseball games. But what I am learning is I am allowed to dislike and like what I want. If I want to dislike baseball games even though my friends enjoy it that is okay. I can choose not to go to the baseball game if I want. This is just one of many examples on how having Self Interest is okay.
- I had several mentors tell me that I am insecure. Even though this is great insight to understanding myself. I learned that being insecure is self loathing. Telling me that I am insecure doesn’t work. You have to teach people how to be secure in themselves. I am slowly learning the process.
I have often thought of having a sacred place. This would be any place you want to go regularly to spend time with God. Of course you can go any place at any time and God will be there. In fact God is always with you. But their is something refreshing about picking out a spot to go spend time with God. A place where you can go by yourself and focus on Him. I made that place at the end of my dock. It is just me, animals, and the river. There is no T.V. , music, or anything that would distract me from devoting my time to God. I just wanted to share with you because it has helped me fix my eyes on God to have a holy place. If you are feeling stuck go try it sometime. Go to the same place every day at the same time and do your devotions. It was worked me. It may not work for you and that is okay. Everyone has certain practices that help them. But I wanted to share.
Cutting people out of your life is easy, keeping them in is hard. –Walter Dean Myers, Slam!
When I was fifteen a friend broke up with me. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were on the phone. She told me that I wanted close friendships. She would prefer to have a lot of friends. But there is a statement she made that I have pondered over and over again. She said I want to be your friend but friendships should not take work. Years later I have decided that I do not agree with what this friend said. People are broken, sinners, and sometimes fail. God knows we aren’t perfect. We should know we aren’t perfect. When you have two broken people it makes a messy relationship. Therefore will relationships take work. We need to realize this. We need to give grace and love to each other. Don’t hold people to standards far to high for them to obtain. Do work on having healthy and whole relationships.