Why Relationships Take Work

Cutting people out of your life is easy, keeping them in is hard. –Walter Dean Myers, Slam!

When I was fifteen a friend broke up with me. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were on the phone. She told me that I wanted close friendships. She would prefer to have a lot of friends. But there is a statement she made that I have pondered over and over again.  She said I want to be your friend but friendships should not take work. Years later I have decided that I do not agree with what this friend said. People are broken, sinners, and  sometimes fail. God knows we aren’t perfect. We should know we aren’t perfect. When you have two broken people it makes a messy relationship. Therefore will relationships take work. We need to realize this. We need to give grace and love to each other. Don’t hold people to standards far to high for them to obtain. Do work on having healthy and whole relationships.

What I Am Into December , 2016

 

Around The Web:

Podcasts:

Books:

  • Wounded by God’s People: Discovering How God’s Love Heals Our Hearts – I liked this book. However, I thought it was really repetitive and dragged out. I loved how this book told of the story of Hagar. I was able to relate to Hagar in many ways and how she felt so isolated from God. But coming to the realization who it is ourselves who isolate from God. We also hold resentment towards God and others for the wounds that people have put on us. However, we must forgive and show sacrificial love towards them.

Reaching out to Christians.

I am finally going to a new church and I am getting connected. They had a Christmas party today and I felt like I belonged. The church only has a couple of family’s and they want to go. He was talking about reaching out to people. However, he was mainly focused on reaching out to Christians. I was pleasantly surprise. He wants to find people that haven’t been to church in 10 years because they got hurt. He wants to find Christians who are losing their faith.  He gave other kinds of examples too. Oh how I wish I could remember them all because it really touched my heart. He has already reached out to me to be the childrens minister. He said the holy spirit told him to reach out to me. He doesn’t know that I have been a cynic when it comes to all things churchy. He doesn’t know that I have stopped going to church because never i was included. I usually got ignored or made fun of at church. Church was almost never been a good experience for me. I have always prayed to God for a church family. To be honest I HAVE NEVER have heard a pastor who wants to go out and find CHRISTIANS. The ones that have been lonely, the outsiders , the neglected, and abused. I think post pastors (unintentionally) forget about those Christians. I reccomend that your read this blog post called How To Love the Cynics by addie zierman. Please never forget that christians need people to reach out to them too.

What I am Into Lately (2016)

Made Me Laugh:

Maple Match – an online dating website for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency.

T.V.

Once Upon A Time (5/5) – I will never get tired of this show.

Movies:

The Jungle Book (4/5) – This is such a wonderful movie. So much nostalgia.

Posts I adored:

Sermons:

  • It’s OK to Not Be OK  – this is a wonderful series. I love John Ortberg. I recommend everyone listen to this.

My Blog:

Resources for Advent:

What I Learned Lately (2016)

  •  Zebras aren’t domesticated because they are too mean.
  • Florida is the only state that manatees are in.
  • God does answer your prayers. It just might come in a way you didn’t expect.
  • I don’t  understand why people  decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving.
  • Good things happen. Bad things happen. You just have to look closely for the good.
  • Good things can come out of bad situations.

God does answer your prayers.

For the longest time I wanted a christian mentor. I expected my mentor to be some christian lady from church. However, that never happened. So I stopped asking for a mentor. I gave up hope on finding one. Then tonight I realized maybe I have been getting mentors. They just didn’t come in the form I thought they would. Over a year ago. I got the first counselor that has ever worked for me ( i have been in counseling since i was a little girl). I finally found someone who “gets me”.  My counselor is a christian too. Even though we don’t talk about God much I think his wisdom is from God. I also had one of my favorite authors answer two of my questions about faith. One of my questions was about being lonely at church. The other one was how can I recover from legalism. Maybe this too is part of me getting mentored. Finally, me and my friend just started a Bible study. We are going through the book of Genesis. He has been reading to me and explaining the verses to me. I think this is mentoring too. There is so many ways I have been getting mentored. I need to praise God for that. I have spent to long being hard hearted because I didn’t think God was listening to me.

Comfort Zones/Church Hunting

I have been thinking about going to church. I do volunteer in the church nursery. However, I haven’t been in a really long time to a service. I don’t like the cliques that seem to happen at church. I don’t like the fake introductions. I don’t like to be a new person in a place.  I get anxious when I go to church alone. This morning I got my monday morning email from Hannah and it was just what I needed to hear. It was about getting out of your comfort zones.  It is very easy to isolate yourself. I do it often. Instead of doing something that will be great for me I avoid it. My counselor calls it avoidance coping and says it doesn’t get you anywhere. If you run from experience you won’t be able to move forward. You will always be stuck in the same place. With all that said I am going try different church. I am going to try not run away when it gets awkward and uncfortamble. I am going to try not to give up if people don’t like me. I am probably going to write about my experiences . Thanks for being on this Journey with me.